School Bullying Stopped: Step #7 - How to Contact the Parent Who May Be a Bully Too! - Article

After working through steps 1 through 6, you now should have sufficient information to contact the parent of the bully and discuss ways to help them stop bullying. I approach the parent not in a blaming manner but in a helping manner after all I am a school counselor not an administrator. I feel like my role is to be supportive to all students.

I am very gentle in discussing with the parent that students as well as staff have reported their child for bullying. I offer our in-school counseling program at this point to the parent as a solution for curbing this behavior. I also ask them to address this issue with their child.

If you dont have an in-school counseling program, I offer some names of counselors in the community to give the parents somewhere to go if they want to choose that option.

Approaching them with the attitude that you are calling to be helpful to their child and not to blame works the best. Sometimes they will say that their child is being bullied also. I take the name of the students bothering their child and assure them that I will talk to their child and these students that are bothering him/her the next day.

They also may question their child being reported by other students who may not be telling the truth. That is why I dont call a parent unless I have some information from adults in the building that they have heard or seen this child bullying.

I tell the parent all the information that has been reported to me except I do not give the names of the students who have reported the bullying. I do this to protect the students and also I dont feel it is ethical to discuss students with anyone other than their own parent or guardian.

If they push the point of wanting to know the students name, I ask them if they would like me discussing their childs business with another parent, and try to get back to how to help their child stop bullying.

Contacting the parent may be tricky, but if they become your ally, both of you can work to stop the bullying and then everyone wins.

Paula McCoach invites you to subscribe to the Bully Zapper Newsletter published weekly with tons of tips on how to effectively deal with bullies in elementary and middle school. You will receive a free special report for your subscription.

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On 2008 July 22 13:29 Gill wrote:

Thanks for this info and tips avaialble. Children have become more smarter than adults in todays life. Such things happen when child bulls or parents make them bul.

On 2008 July 22 13:32 Gill wrote:

Thanks for this info and tips avaialble. Children have become more smarter than adults in todays life. Such things happen when child bulls or parents make them bull this encourages child to bull more freely and independently. Parents do it thinking that their child is innocent but, No he is not at all. He graps that thing and adopts the next time as required.

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On 2008 July 22 13:38 Rasika wrote:

What bulling???? If parents don't do and keep an eye on their cild and their behaviours and catch them whenever they do. By doing this 1-2 times, child will understand that this is not good and should be avoided. This will not create a habit in the child & parents also should avoid with such bad habits. If parent s take care from begining it helps to a great exctend to the child also.

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On 2008 July 22 13:41 Hungama wrote:

Thanks for this info and tips availalbel. Children have become more smarter than adults in todays life. Such things happen whne child bulls or parents make them bull. Try avoidnig and thus heling everyone

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On 2008 July 22 14:04 Ebrahim wrote:

Parents should join Paula McCoach newsletter and learn how to figure out if the child is bulling or not. Basically, stop themselves and child from bulling. The effects that apply on a child plays a drastic role in his young age. One or 2 times the child succeds in bulling and or its bvulling is ignored, he winsthe race and starts bulling everywhere, every now & then. His impacts also applies to other students, siblings, etc.

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